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Watched Jeanine's final Solo on So You Think You Can Dance Season 5 and the song "The Tango Project" kind of startled me. In the GOOD way. Sent thrill down my spine.

Love youtube and how it links related videos to each other so we can dig through and recover music that filled up our life once upon a time.

And how I had and still L-O-V-E this little Tango piece. And just like before, my heart still aches just a little when I listen to it.

The beauty of the melody makes me want to weep. Well... I did a little when I watch this following clip :_)





I am so hunting for Scent of a Woman DVD this weekend LOH. Al Pacino is simply magnetic.

God, I miss dancing...

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Been an insanely expensive week. Dreading to recap on my damages. Unfortunately demand outstrips the supply. Now I have to contemplate on whatever is left on my supply to survive the rest of the year!

Finally tidy up my hair. Wanted to do something drastic but upon Yong's surprisingly avid campaign to keep my hair long, i decided that a perm would appease us both. The perm, re-coloring, treatment and cut set me back on my hair budget at least for the next six month. I am beginning to doubt my decades of business studies. Obviously you can have a brighter future (and fortune) going for hair and beauty education.

The bridesmaid dress material

After a mad rush to confirm our attendance to Yim's wedding, I did an equally mad rush to get my bridesmaid dress tailored. After an hour of soft (begging) and hard (name dropping) approach, my seamstress finally accepted my order and I on her PREMIUM price. I really hope *double crossed my fingers* that the dress will turn out the way I want. After consulting my bridesmaids and their experience with tailoring, I realized that the end result very often differs from the original design. Once again, I wonder if I should have gotten my mum to train me in this line since good and reliable seamstresses are apparently extinct. Let's see if this one who came highly recommended will live up to her name.

Then I had to book my tickets to London. This was a happy purchase though equally painful on the pocket. The NATAS SQ promo fare came at the right time. This save me 4 hours of transit time if I have gone for Emirates. After a brief grimace upon clicking the "buy" button on SQ site, I broke into a huge beam for the rest of the day. I am just so happy to be able to make it for Yim's wedding afterall. It would mean the world to me to be there for her most important day as she, Mike and Papa Pisit did for mine. Looking forward to spend the few days at the English suburb with Yong.

My last damage is the TCM visit this morning. TCM is not cheap loh. Sigh.. is anything in Singapore affordable these days anyway? The medicine is simply NASTY. Looks horrible too. (see right photo) Oh well.. hopefully it will bring my body back in balance.

Bought some coasters from litteoddforest a 精品 Singapore based online store which has been around for quite a while. Always love to buy their little pouches and coasters as xmas gifts for friends.

We have been thinking of getting a DSLR for quite a while already but gonna be hard with the upcoming trip. Nonetheless, I would rather go to Yim's wedding than get a new camera.....

BUT a new camera would have been nice .... to capture all of Yim and Mark's joy and love. :P

Tips on managing Acne outbreak

Okay, let me first start off by saying I am terrible at skincare and make up stuff. I am never that passionate about it except for occasional bout of inspiration and enthusiasm after watching michellephan or xteener youtube clip. But I have my fair share of experience visiting GP, Derms and beauticians to know a bit about taking care of problematic skin. Especially after my massive allergy/outbreak.

1. Stay away from hot shower/bath
I love hot shower especially on a cold night and early morning. But it also makes my skin really blotchy, red and worse, itchy. I used to ALWAYS come out of the shower with scratches across my chest and back. According to my beautician, hot water is really drying to the skin and also promotes the growth of the bacteria hence spreading your acne to other area. I have switched to tepid if not cool shower these days and while i still itch (i have ridiculously sensitive skin!) it is ALOT less than before.

Photo by Erix!

2. Ice your face day and night

This advice was given to me by a colleague a year back. She swore by it saying that it really calms acne. Well her glowing skin is more than enough testimonial of this great tip. My beautician instructed me to dunk my face into a bowl of ice water every day and night after washing my face. I modified it slightly since I don't have a big enough bowl. I put about 5-6 ice cube on a face towel, wet it and ice my face for about 15 mins. It makes a huge difference on my acne and helps alot on the pain and soreness.

3. Stay away from Benzac
I got this from a derm. And man, this is some nasty nasty stuff. You can read more about this "miracle" cream from acne.org under "Dan's regime" which essentially ask you to slather on thick layer of Benzac on your face every day, suffer through the peeling process and after 1-3 months (depending on your condition) you will have clear skin forever. The catch is you need to do this every day rest of your life if you want to maintain the clear condition. I can't imagine putting that much chemical on my face so I have only put on the acne as the instruction says. Nonetheless, I still got a massive allergy reaction to it and my face started peeling BADLY and my acne rapidly spread from my jawline to my cheeks. My face was half swollen and red all the time. If 3 days of application can cause all these I can't imagine putting thick layers of this on my face for the rest of my life. Imagine the damage on your skin. You have been warned. Please read up on the downside of this terrible cream if you like to embark on Dan's regime.

4. Don't ignore your whiteheads
If you have sparse whiteheads which 99% of everyone has, it is fine to ignore them. It is likely to go away after exfoliation and your usual skin regime. But if they start to spread, and stubbornly refuse to go away even after much exfoliation then please start to panic and do something about it. I have tons of headless whiteheads (they just looks like tiny bumps on your skin) beginning of the year. It was too close to the wedding so I choose not to do anything to do and let them sit dormant. And god bless, my face behaved right through the wedding.  It was not perfect but at least the make up went on beautifully and the photos turned out well.
Accordingly to my GP, he says that every whiteheads is the beginning of an acne. So it is only a matter of time every single whitehead would erupt and mature to an acne. And that was what happened to me!
However, I also learn from my beautician that we can intercept the full blown outbreak by skillful extraction of the gunk. Skillful is the key word. Extraction done wrongly is equally damaging to the skin. I am damn lucky to have found my current beautician. Within a week, she cleared all my bumps from the most superficial skin layers. However, the acne hidden within the deeper skin layers would need time to clear. Her aim is to eventually get rid of all the acne "roots" and achieve perfect skin. Frankly i am just happy with average skin. I have problematic skin all my life, battling with at least one or two pimples at any one time, so perfect skin is nothing but a distant dream for me. Nonetheless I am heartened to know i was in good hands and that brings me to my next point...

5. Find a good beautician
I was with Leonard Drake for the last 3 years and was really happy with them. I went to them after my skin reacted badly with London's tap water and they salvaged my skin. But it was only when I had my whiteheads which was due to hormonal imbalance and stress that I realized that they were not as skillful as I thought. I always remember how one of beautician insensitively expressed her frustration with my headless whiteheads. And trust me  you don't need another person to remind you how hopeless the situation is. With my current beautician, she was supportive, optimistic, and confident. And going to her is nurturing to my esteem, which is so important at this point. Most critically, she is so damn good at what she does. You can have smooth clear skin and yet she can still spot the looming acne deep in the skin layers and extract them out. My favorite part of the facial is how she would show me the gunk each time she extracts them. There is something morbidly satisfying about that.

6. Try Zinc cream
Zinc supplement as we all know is fantastic for healing of injuries, skin, hair, etc.. Zinc cream works in the same way topically. Granted, I don't have deep scars so i can't tell the effect of it on them. But for the smaller, punctured holed type of scar, this works great! It has healed some of the tiny scars only after just a couple of weeks of application. I put on a thick layer of it before sleep and in the day I apply it liked a moisturizer. Zinc is also an effective sunblock so i get to skip my sunblock as well.

There are plenty of other tips told to me but thought I will skip them since they are the stuff most of us already know e.g. don't pick your face, tie up your hair, stay happy, etc..

Oh there is one more thing i did every time my skin screws up: I stop all my products immediately. Except the cleanser of course. It is hard to pin point the reason of the outbreak and it is safer to eliminate all possible suspects. Besides, it is a good thing to let your skin rest. And slowly introduce back the product when your skin is calmer. It also serves as a way to identify which of the product is no longer suitable for your skin.

Photo by The 5th Ape

And to end off this post, I will touch on something more personal. I spent a lot of time thinking about the reason of this outbreak. It was very important for me to understand that as it was not triggered by any product reaction (except for that damn chemical peel and benzac but they were not the cause of my whiteheads) or environmental effect. There is something wrong with my body. Physically and emotionally.

I was suspected to have PCOS sometime last year. Simply said, I may have irregular ovulation which may makes it hard to conceive. It was something really hard for me to swallow as I love babies to death and have always wanted so much to raise a few of my own. Paranoid me ran through all the worst case scenario and then brainwashed myself I can accept them so I can moved on with life. But little did I know that subconsciously I was greatly affected by the possibility of uphill journey to motherhood. I will spare you the details but together with the moving of the house, a few unexpected financial burdens, some long standing family issues, wedding preparation, I was under tremendous stress for the last one year. Either that or the PCOS finally tip my hormones unbalanced and hence the chronic insomnia and outbreak.

If you suspect your acne outbreak is due to stress or PCOS, do take some time out to think through things. I was kind of glad to have this outbreak. It shook me up. Stop me from charging forward all the time and finally come to terms with some of my unhappiness, fears and anguish. I finally accepted and embraced the uniqueness of my family issues. I acknowledge how paranoid I have been on my unconfirmed PCOS condition and accepted the uphill journey I might took.

I won't say I am stronger now. But I dare say I have finally put down some of these baggages. Yong has been a big factor of my stress. I was not used to sharing my burdens and stress with another person other than my mum. I was petrified to let him see the vulnerable side of me. Again, god has his way of doing things. I witness his graciousness and incredible big heart and through this episode, I learn to open up to him completely and this really moves the relationship to a different level.

I have digressed a little but you get the gist. Emotional cleansing is as important as the physical one. That is my last tip for you and hope you have found this little post useful and hopefully motivating. :)

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Today I learn something.

That words are reflections of oneself.

I was pissed off by some unkind words. A mixture of narcissism, wild imagination and spiteful glee.

Then my mum reminded me that the real damage done is not really on me but to the owner of these very words. It only goes to reveal her personality and grace, or rather, lack of it.

Have you been hurt by mean comments recently too? Hope this little philosophical advice would soothe your heart as well.

Something to brighten up your day. Check out this wonderful Etsy shop by talented photographer AmeliaKay . Totally heart her photos - especially her series on food. They are just the way I like it - soft soothing colours with abit of a vintage feel to it.

Check out my recent fabulous buy from her shop:

I can stare at them the whole day... soon.. on my dining room's wall.. :P

My july ordeal

Long overdue post. And a long one. You have been warned. If you have clear good skin most of your life, you will be bored. If you are looking for some consolation on your battle with problematic skin, dive right in and I hope this post can help and comfort you in some way. 

Been a very bad birthday month. Remember my unfortunate bouts of insomnia which started before the wedding and unceremoniously went on (and on and on...) after it? Well, not surprisingly, it took toll on my already stressed out skin, my whiteheads multiplied and rapidly covered a good lower half of my face. Stupidly, under desperation, I took the advices from forum to visit one of the highly raved dermatologist who is supposedly not only kind but also understanding to the plight of hormonally unbalanced gals liked me.

They could not be more wrong. She was, at best, patronizing. Sheesh.. if my eyes can roll 360 degree I would, at her attempt to be sympathetic. She did her usual "remedy" - cocktail of antibiotics, chemical peel and topical ointments. I rejected antibiotics. But agreed to the rest. Everything went downhill from there. I think the only positive thing I took out of the consultation is the chance to see the biggest diamond ring ever. I don't know sparklies well but man, that is one big diamond and the x number of the smaller ones surrounding it only enhance the size further. For a non-jewelery gal, I got a glimpse of how excited diamond gals must feel with their blings. It certainly tugs some heart string of mine.

Anyhow back to my tragedy, I am not sure which actually did the job of ruining my face. The chemical peel or the Benzac Dr-bluff-nice prescribed. My few cystic acne on my jawline spread and in just a couple of days, the lower half of my face was scaly, peeling, bleeding and swollen.

It was liked a combination of bad allergic reaction and acne outbreak. I went to another GP and succumbed to antibiotics and whatever he prescribed. It did stabilized but the big bumps stayed and stayed and stayed.

It was horrible. Truly horrible. Liked a nightmare except it is played 24/7. The hysteria I experienced only made my insomnia worse. And insomnia did not helped my healing. And the vicious cycle continued.

It was only, when I got to know about a hydrotherapy spa place from a colleague which coincidentally is right opposite my house, that there was a glimmer of hope.

I was skeptical. How would doing water spa help? But I still went out of desperation (and water sounded much less menacing than acid) and after a week of doing spa everyday the swelling and bumps went down abit. I was slightly heartened but it was still far from okay.

THEN I met my current beautician, who is the sister of the hydrotherapy spa owner. It is kind of a family business. The spa thingy is the main business but there are some rooms which you can also do facial as well as TCM (administered by yet another sister). Anyhow I have digressed. My beautician is a godsend. She has been in the business for 20 over years and specializes in problematic skin. And man, she really helped the recovery!

Apparently the GP's advice of "don't do anything to your face except to wash it" was not sound at all. The bacteria and pus within the bumps need to be cleared out! Otherwise you will have to wait. And wait. And wait till they are "ripe" and fall out by themselves. By then, the bacteria would have eat into your pores and not only you will have marks which are bad enough but also horrible horrible scars.

By the second week almost all of the bumps are gone. I was left with loads and loads of red marks and some scars/indentation. But I was thankful. To me, after a month of red angry pus-filled bumps and peeling skin, the transformation in a week was no less than a miracle. No more bleeding and swelling. I can put on my concealer and look normal. Well, normal problematic skin person.

It was tough dealing with hormonal unbalance at a ripe age of 31. But I am glad it is over now. I know the looming possibility of having that ordeal all over again during pregnancy but it is too far for me to think. I just want to get my body back right again. Once I am done with my antibiotics, I will prob start on TCM to balance out my highly stressed out body.

For those still in the battle out there, hang in there. It is just a phase. And it will be over soon. Be patient and let the medicine/ointment/facial/etc take time to heal your face. And most importantly, learn to let go of your stress. I am no expert on this field but after going through this little war with my body I learn that everything in your body happens for a reason. Very often we do not know we are stressed and our body would react in different ways to warn you about it. 

In a way I am thankful of this experience. It makes me highly aware of my health now. And how unhealthy i was before. Both physically and emotionally.


I have learnt a few tips on taking care of problematic skin through my wonderful beautician and I will do a separate post on them. I will also include my experience with dealing with dermatologist, GP and TCM doctors and the valuable (and not so valuable) advices from them.  Stay tuned.