Insomnia and the start of the real journey

I am officially married for 7 days. Still in a daze. Still a little disoriented.

Sometime during the week, I ask Yong if there is any difference before and after the wedding since we started cohabiting before that. After the usual pregnant pause, he replied that he thinks there is a difference. And quoting a line from IP Man 2, he said that “娶个老婆，人变得踏实点”and went on to tell me that he felt he should dote and love me even more. Considering that I was just expecting a yes or no answer, this sensitive and loving reply just blew me away.

I had been exceptionally emotional last week. My nightmare insomnia that started more than a week before the wedding decided to do overtime even after the event. After umpteen trips to the doctors (both western and Chinese), my body was in a total wreck.

After weeks of not able to get a full night sleep, I finally broke down one of those sleepless night, collapsed in sobs in Yong’s arms. Being so unwell physically and mentally (oh yeah, at one point I thought I was getting depression; not sleeping for weeks do A LOT of damage to the self being) brought me up to a whole new level of vulnerability. I was not comfortable showing him, or for the matter, anyone, this side of me.

It is strange how the timing works. It is liked God has planned this little tutorial for us right after our wedding. First marriage lesson – learn to show your ‘dark’ side to your hubby. Yeah, the whole red and swollen face after crying, super dark eye rings, sallow horrible breakout skin, disheveled hair, out of control sobbing in the middle of the night, erratic emotional outburst, etc.. Hey, I was not ready to do that just yet. Thought I can amortize that side of me to Yong over time (:P).. but no, God has to wreak my nights, deteriorate my well-being to pulp and then present my dismayed self in a shot glass, straight up, for Yong. Thanks leh…

But the truth is, we are now husband and wife. And the start of the REAL relationship - the thick and thin kind. And I have to say, Yong has been just A-MAZ-ING. I will spare you the mushy details but I could not stop muttering to myself that I really married the right guy. Hmm.. did I say that I am married.. oh ya.. I did.. I am married... OH MY GOD.. I am really friggin MARRIED!! O_o
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And I can’t stop grinning silly at my computer screen now.. :)))))))))

Getting the photos tonight from Thomas. So expect more posts following up.

BTW, for those brides who are contemplating Grand Shanghai for the wedding dinner, you are in for a treat as I will be waxing lyrical about it in the next few posts. NO REGRETS at all for choosing this wonderful restaurant. Stay tuned.