Photoshoots and the frowned upon weight

Getting nervous about the photoshoot tomorrow. Felt a cold sore coming up at usual spot at the mouth edge. Been suppressing it with medication. But it has done it's damage in increasing my stress level exponentially. Sigh.. Murphy's law...

Photoshoot at 730am and make up artist Kelly will arrive at 530am. I feel tired already thinking about the ungodly timing.

Dang kept reminding me to smile and laugh heartily. Loads of brides regret not relaxing and enjoying the photoshoots. And you won't want to regret that right? She advised motherly. I nodded but only to feel more nervous than ever.

I collected my gowns yesterday and tried on the wedding gown for the first time after Dang altered it. To my dismay, the gown still hung loose around my torso. Surely I have not lose more weight since 3 weeks ago? I have been watching what I ate over CNY but could not resist popping pineapple tarts and bak gua everytime I get my hands on them.

Thank god for Dang as she swiftly decided to do last min alteration to further tightened the gown by an inch and half. As we sat and waited, my mind drifted off to the conversation I had with my auntie during house visits. She had shook her head in disapproval on the recent weight lamenting how sharp my face became. Advising me that brides too thin don't look nice cos they lack the glow blah and blah. Flashback to my first fitting where my best friend similarly chided me on my decreasing size. She thought I no longer looked booby and booty enough for my cheongsum.

And I agree with them. I have not really been dieting or exercising excessively. Just lost much of my previously bouyant appetite. It was mainly due to stress dealing with the new house and new lifestyle and an unexpected financial expense which need some tightening of belt for the next couple of years. The latter did take toll on my stress level as I do have an unhealthy repulsion to loans.

I know I need to loosen up. I do want to look like a happy bride cos I do feel like one. Just this morning I felt a sense of bliss as I lazed on my sofa enjoying both my warm macdonald breakfast and a John Grisham book in my new living room.

I know what I need to do now. To stop psycho analyzing my feelings and planning for the unnecessary. I need to throw caution in the air and stop worrying about the details. I will put on my salsa music and practise some of my favorite moves with Yong. I want to re watch that chubby Chinese guy singing CNY songs in Lady Gaga tune till my stomach aches because I laugh too hard.

That should do to get me in the mood for some fun tomorrow! ;P

Bringing my cam for the shoots tmr. Hopefully will get to take some shots myself and post it here. :)